FARToons™ - www.fartoons.net

Updates
The Early Daze	December 04, 2008 I added a new section to the ARToons™ gallery featuring my drawings from when I was a little kid. *"The Early Daze"* is a compilation of artwork from 1993 to 1996 (3rd to 5th grade). It is nothing special or interesting, but that is my life so there you go. 2008 is officially the first year since FARToons™ was established that I haven't created an original animated cartoon. Cheers to 2008 and all its unbearable pain.

Unfinished Cartoons	October 19, 2008 Since I have been too sad and lazy to work on anything new I uploaded some old unfinished cartoons. It's pathetic, I know. You can download them in the cartoons section. New uploads include The Bait Outdoors, Tsunami, and South Park: A Hebrew Hitler. Scroll down near the bottom of the page to find them. Also be prepared for awful audio quality and voices if you download A Hebrew Hitler. It is pretty bad. I also updated the FARToons™ Characters section last week. And you may have noticed the ads at the top of the page. Click them once or twice if you like FARToons™, it makes me a little bit of money. And I have to tell you to "look" at the page you clicked or else I get in trouble. I know how much you all enjoy ads so I expect you will..... Actually what I expect is none of you will click on them. Something new will come along eventually... Be patient with me... Finally, happy birthday Trey Parker. You are getting fucking old and it's depressing... Because that means I'm getting older... :'(

DOWNLOAD!	October 06, 2008 I apologize for all the broken links on the site. They have all been fixed. The pages must've gotten fucked up when my account was being renewed. Or maybe it is symbolic for how fucked up my life has gotten. Yeah, I bitch a lot, but things seriously have gotten to an ALL-TIME LOW. I'll spare you the details. Just know that I wish I was dead now more than ever. I grudgingly bring you a little promotional video for Felix's 2008 Presidential campaign. That's right, Felix is running for President of the United States. He greatly appreciates your vote at the ballots this November.

New Wallpapers!	August 20, 2008 There are new desktop wallpapers in the images section and also new drawings in the ARToons section. It may not be a cartoon but it's better than nothing... or maybe it isn't. I don't even know anymore. I'm sorry there hasn't been anything new in a while. It's the way she goes. Sometimes she goes. Sometimes she doesn't go. It's the way she fuckin' goes.

	August 14, 2008 So yeah, it's been over two months and the new episode of The Wish Fish Family still isn't finished. To be honest I don't know if I am going to finish it. I'm not very happy with the animation or the humor and I'm way too lazy to go back and change it. If you really want to see it finished then cry out to me. The more people I hear from the more likely I'll get around to finishing it. As for right now I'm pretty much doing nothing. Just slacking off as usual. It is the Wells way. I did animate and do voices for a Citibank commercial earlier this month. I'm not sure if it went over well or not. I never really got any feedback. But oh well, I still got paid. That's what really matters. Other than that I've wasted the entire summer just as I expected.

	June 06, 2008 A new episode of The Wish Fish Family is coming soon. I have a stupid paper about Jesus to write this weekend, but hopefully I will get started on it next week. The worst part of course is recording the dialog. After that it should be a breeze... Well, not really. Animation is never a breeze, no matter how crappy it looks. The only motivation I have to work on the third episode is due to all the people I pissed off at Kinematifest, one person in particular who I am dedicating it too. So if you are a *Wish Fish* fan be grateful for all the sourpusses in the world without a sense of humor. I have been slacking off so far this summer. I haven't even bothered to work on my designs for Senioritis characters. I have mental problems. Plus I am probably one of the top ten laziest people in the country. This ranking doesn't include Mexicans. Finally, I want to say goodbye to Joel Johnson, the coolest teacher and advisor ever in the history of Webster University, who is moving to Illinois. We will all miss you Joel. Things are going to be fucked up without you.

DOWNLOAD!	May 10, 2008 Due to the recent controversy over The Wish Fish Family I have edited together a politically correct version of the cartoon for our viewers without a sense of humor. I hope you enjoy! Just one stupid ass paper left before I am finished with school... for a week. Then I have to return for summer classes. Is that a bunch of bullshit or what?

DOWNLOAD!	May 05, 2008 Kinematifest turned out to be one of the most awkward moments of my life with the screening of The Wish Fish Family, accompanied by total shock and disgust. People started out laughing but once the racist jokes kicked in "BAM!" I'm the most hated man in America. I am sure to get gangbanged or shot sometime this week, but it was worth it just to not be censored, which I am very grateful for. Sure it sucks that I pissed off some fellow students and an instructor who now think I'm a total bigot, but alas, isn't that what this now AWARD-WINNING web site is all about? Pissing people off. Download my acceptance speech to see just how awkward it really was.

WIN FREE DVD!	May 01, 2008 You can win a FREE DVD of The Wish Fish Family - Volume 1. All you have to do is send an email to ryan@fartoons.net with "Wish Fish DVD" and "your name" in the subject line. The winner will be chosen at random. We didn't do too well at the comic convention this year. There weren't enough teenagers and they are our target audience. But we did meet some cool people, as well as some incredibly strange ones, and got some good pictures. We got to sit across from the guy who played Michael Myers in "Halloween" and some other minor celebrities who I've never heard of in my life. Well I guess it's back to fucking homework. Kinematifest is this weekend. So I'm going to be busy as fuck and not get anything done. I'm totally failing this semester. I'm failing at life in general. Nothing new.

	April 13, 2008 I was fortunate enough to meet Disney animator Joe Haidar this weekend who was doing a workshop at Webster University. In all honestly he is like the coolest guy I've ever met. He has worked on the movies "Who Framed Roger Rabbit", "Beauty & the Beast", "Aladdin", "Pocahontas", "Hercules", "Home on the Range", "Looney Tunes: Back in Action", "Enchanted", and more. He was cool enough to help me with the design of some of my own characters for *Senioritis. Check out some of his critiques of the drawings I have done. His are way better than mine, reminding me of how much improvement I really need. Hopefully I will be able to take what he taught me to improve my drawing skills. If not, I am fucked. So I'd like to thank Joe again, even though he most likely won't be reading this. He is supposed to be returning to St. Louis in May for the Kinematifest Animation Festival*. So if you're in the area be sure to go!

DOWNLOAD!	April 08, 2008 Well, I didn't win the Webbie Award for best script or animation but I won for best Commercial/PSA for "Now That's Not What I Call Music 12". I guess that's better than nothing but my script should have won. It deserves to win just because it's for an ORIGINAL series if nothing else. Everyone else wrote for existing TV shows. Oh well, some judges are ass fucks. And it's just a piece of plastic so what're you gonna do? I'll tell you what you're gonna do, you're going to download my acceptance speech video.

	April 03, 2008 It has been confirmed we will be at The 3rd Annual Cape Girardeau Comic Con on Sunday, April 27th. We'll be selling Series 1, Series 2, and the newly released Series 3 Ostrich, Hippo & Jesus on Grass comic books. We'll also be selling OH&J on Grass: Tha Moovy, OH&J Trading Cards, and the all-new Wish Fish Family DVD with a special behind-the-scenes look. And there will be other people there that you may actually care about, like the original Michael Myers from "Halloween", comic book artist Brian Hurtt, the creator of "The Ghost Rider" Gary Friedrich, Star Trek actor Bill Blair, and more. I've actually never heard of any of those people except for Michael Myers, but hopefully you have. Visit their web site to find out more. I've been nominated for another Webbie Award this year for my Senioritis pilot script "Basketball Blues". I doubt I'll win but stranger things have happened. If I do win I guess it means it is at least award-worthy, which would be good considering it is what I want to make a TV series one day. If I win I'll put my speech online like last year.

DOWNLOAD VIDEO!	March 19, 2008 I finally got around to putting together the ad for Kinematifest, Webster University's first annual animation festival being judged by professional animators. They are still taking submissions until Monday so hurry up and send your best animations if you are a high school or college student. Also be sure to attend the festival if you can the weekend of May 2nd - May 4th. Come and see me, especially if you hate my work and want to pop me in the mouth. So last Friday I was told I had an enlarged spleen and may have lymph nod cancer. It turns out I didn't. I guess that can be either good or bad depending on your opinion. I'm not quite sure myself. I mean cancer sucks, and I don't want cancer, but dying might be cool. For some reason, maybe because I bitched about it in the last update, my site is now getting more views a day than it ever has. I have no idea why. My YouTube channel sure isn't getting any fucking views. People are probably just coming here and leaving because it sucks. So anyway, I don't know when my next cartoon is going to be. Maybe I will do one last Wish Fish episode before I move on to Senioritis. School is sucking up everything along with my depression. So we'll see. Now I have to go do an interview about The Webbies, and will probably be late for it.

DOWNLOAD!	December 16, 2007 After a mysterious two-year hiatus Barney is back with a new PSA announcement. This time he is doing sing-along life lessons, so be sure to join him. I did not enjoy animating this cartoon at all. So although I wrote eight more Barney commercials, three of which are sing-alongs, I doubt very much they all get made. Especially since Flash 8 is such a piece of shit and has to make everything so difficult.