FARToons™ - www.fartoons.net

FAQ

If you have a question you'd like answered, like "What is the meaning of life?" and "Why are we here?" you can go fuck yourself because I can barely even get myself out of bed much less tell you why God is such a prick. But if you have a real question that doesn't piss me off and would like it answered send it to ryan@fartoons.net.

Personal FAQ:

Q: Are you racist?
A: No. I hate you no matter what color you are.

Q: Are you single?
A: Yes. Yes, I am one person.

Q: Do you enjoy offending people?
A: No. Although it would be nice if everyone got my sense of humor it wouldn't be nearly as funny if there weren't pussies to complain about it.

Q: Do you like anime?
A: About as much as I like cutting my nut sack open with round-tipped scissors.

Q: Do you think you're funny?
A: I have my moments.

Q: How old are you?
A: Much older than I would like to be.

Q: What are your favorite cartoons?
A: South Park, Looney Tunes, Tom & Jerry, The Simpsons , Beavis and Butt-head, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Sealab 2021, Frisky Dingo, and Family Guy (seasons 1-3).

Q: What are your religious beliefs?
A: I am a devote partisan to the Church of Morgan Freeman.

Q: Where did you learn to animate?
A: I don't think I ever did. Have you seen my cartoons?

Q: Where did you learn to draw?
A: I didn't. I just crap on a piece of paper and call it art.

Q: Which of your cartoons is your favorite?
A: Usually the most recent one. I'm pretty ashamed of all my old stuff.

Q: Which of your videos is your favorite?
A: Ryan's Wild Safari. I deserve an Oscar for my dramatic performance. I also like Teletubbies Uncensored and Ryan's Happy Fun Time Movie.

Q: Who is your favorite animator?
A: Chuck Jones, the greatest animator of all-time.

Q: Who is your hero?
A: Uncle Jesse. I want to live in his hair.

Q: Why are your cartoons so offensive?
A: I have an offensive sense of humor. If there is something that shouldn't be said I want to say it. I feel everything should be equally open to mockery. People need to lighten up and see the world for what it is: a big fat joke!

Q: Why are you so negative?
A: Society, women, and Republicans. But mostly women.

Q: Why do you make fun of Jesus? You're going to Hell.
A: Because he never throwed me a birthday party. And I already am in Hell.

Web Site FAQ:

Q: Are you going to make any more Barney videos?
A: Surprisingly, yes, there are plans for more Barney commercials.

Q: Are you going to make any more Teletubbies videos?
A: I doubt it. I don't think it'd be as funny because everyone would be familiar with the voices.

Q: Can you make a cartoon where...?
A: I try not to use other peoples' ideas, unless money and/or gay cowboy monkeys are involved.

Q: What do you use to make your web site?
A: Mostly crayons, glue, and green glitter sparkles.

Q: What is Seniorits?
A: It is an animated television series pilot I am working on.

Q: What projects are you currently working on?
A: There are so many damn projects I've started I have no idea which ones are going to get finished. I hope that I get more shit done this year than I have in the past but knowing me it'll be another slow year for FARToons™.

Q: When are you going to make more "Ostrich, Hippo & Jesus on Grass" comics?
A: I love "Ostrich, Hippo & Jesus" but I think it's time for me to move on to something new. I did them for three years and they've out-stayed their welcome. I'm sure they will pop up again in one form or another, as long as I'm around "Ostrich, Hippo & Jesus" will never die.

Q: Who does the voices for your cartoons?
A: I do most of them. Sometimes I have my friends do voices if I'm desperate.