Ostrich, Hippo & Jesus Characters

Ostrich

Ostrich is a prime example of fragile youth. He is easily upset by Hippo’s constant slander towards the ostrich race and Jesus’ shameful greediness. The one thing he holds dear that nobody can take from his is his little red wagon in which to ride.


Hippo

Hippo is Ostrich’s best friend even though he is hugely prejudice against the ostrich people. He feeds off the tears of his peers, so he is often the negative energy in the room. His conceit is false, yet unknowingly, he takes credit for everyone else’s work.


Jesus

Jesus is the third wheel in the trio whose wealth is often taken advantage of by his friends. He is a greedy, little brat affect of being spoiled to death by his father. His greed and need for his friends’ acceptance continually contradict each other. He will go to great lengths just to fit in, even if it means having to share his candies or throwing daily birthday parties.


My Friend Bobo the Alligator

Bobo steps up as the third member when one of the friends is away dying of cancer or dyeing Easter eggs. He does not want the companionship of anyone, all he wants is to eat them. He’s always waiting for the right time to take action, preferably whilst the victim is in slumber.


The Basket

The Basket is an emotional wreck, even more so than Ostrich. It doesn’t matter what is said, he is deeply offended by it.


The Grand Wizard

As mentor of the three friends, The Grand Wizard can pretty much tell them to do anything and they will be stoked just by his acknowledgement. He sends them on journeys to defeat his arch-nemesis Mr. T who lurks in the depths of the port-o-potty on Cake-Mix Mountain.


Mr. T

Mr. T is the supreme evil ruler of Cake-Mix Mountain who spawned from the depths of a rancid port-o-potty. The trio is often sent on quests by The Grand Wizard to destroy him but fail due to their lack of brain cells.


Baby Dave

Baby Dave likes the carousel.


Monkey Jesus

Monkey Jesus wonders throughout the grasslands of Detroit flinging his poo and often being mistaken for Jesus. No one likes to play with him because he never wants to wear the silly hat or French mustache.


Don Dinosaur

Being the first living lizard to roam the earth, Don Dinosaur has no knowledge of anything beyond the fact that he is a dinosaur.


Indian Who Goes Without a Name

Indian likes polytheism and grows corn. He also likes polytheism while growing corn. If he feels oppressed for his righteous religious beliefs he will scalp you alive, and grow polytheistic corn while doing so.


The Devil

The Devil was banished from Heaven for looking at furniture porn on the internet. He resides in Hell using a 52k modem for all eternity.


Hitler

Hitler mag Ponys im Regen reiten. Einmal aß er zu viele brautwursts und warf herauf einen Babyfuß. Der Fisch hat ein Auge zu viele und bildet ihn nicht einen Fisch aber auspumpen von einem grossen Vogel. Die Eiscreme schmeckt mit Rindfleischeintopfgerichtsandwichen gut.


Gay Lion

Gay Lion is a lion of the homosexual persuasion. He has a rainbow coming out of his butt to symbolize his love for penises of all different colors. Though he comes from a carnivorous family, the only thing this lion will eat on you is your butthole.


Anorexic Alien

Anorexic Alien is a cheerleader from the future who refuses to eat so boys will give her attention. She only eats at Subway because she likes to make herself throw up bologna.


Grandfather Clock

Grandfather Clock is a wise old man who lives at the top of Cake-Mix Mountain. He tells the children tales of World War II and Theodore Roosevelt. When Grandfather Clock dies time runs out for all of On Grass.